Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Anonymous Rants...

...cuz I'm in a bitchy fuckin' mood.



Dear Anonymous-

You're a shit model. You have one facial expression, and that ONE always makes you look like you're about to piss your pants in fear. You can pose yourself decently, but the facial expression always ruins it. Your best pictures have your back to the camera.

You (badly) photoshop your body in pictures to get rid of your belly, but you don't have permission from the photographers to edit the images anyway. So you're violating your release terms, on top of false advertising and shitty photoshop-work.

And the fact that you consider yourself a make-up artist is laughable. 75% of your modeling portfolio, you're not even wearing make-up (which you really should, because your dyed-black hair washes you out pretty tragically), and when you do make-up on other models, it's thick, cake-y circus make-up, and even in photos they look like clowns.

I love the fact that you're so convinced you're hot shit. You've never done anything. You've never done fashion shows, you've never been published in a magazine, you've never had your picture in an art gallery, nothing. The only people who shoot with you are GWCs. What makes you so convinced you're god's gift to photography? (And believe me, EVERYBODY knows you think that- going to professional, accomplished models who know what they're doing, get their work somewhere other than model-fucking-mayhem, and make a living doing this, and you have the balls to talk down to them??? You amaze me, and not in the good way.)

And after having the unfortunate opportunity to meet you in person, you're just as rude, self-centered, and obnoxious in person as you are behind the anonymity of the internet... at least you're consistent.

PLEASE do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up.

-Me



Dear Anonymous-

I was really hoping he was wrong. I was really hoping he was just worried, or jealous, or making shit up. I was really hoping he was lying.

But he's not. He's right.

You've been lying to me for over a year. And that hurts more than I can even begin to describe...

-Me



Dear Anonymous-

Could you please stop trying to use me? It won't work.

We're not friends. I thought we were, but friends don't lie to you, friends don't lie about you, and friends don't ditch you the second they get a better offer. We're not friends. You're a model. I'm a model. The end.

-Me



Dear Anonymous-

STOP FUCKING INSTANT-MESSAGING ME!!!

For the love of God, CUT IT THE FUCK OUT! If I had time to talk, I would. But I don't right now. So IM'ing me 30 fucking times over the course of an hour isn't going to improve the situation. It's just gonna piss me off.

And considering the fact that I don't even know you- you know a couple friends of mine, and that's it- I really don't feel too fucking obligated to make small-talk with you when I've got shit to do.

And the fact that you want to "hang out", and that you insist on publicly acting like we're long-lost sisters or something, when we've never even met, kinda creeps me out.

I will talk to you when I have the time. Until then, back the fuck off, girl.

-Me



OK, I feel a bit better... Time for a shower and some retail therapy.

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