Friday, November 27, 2009

Falling Out Farther Than I Fell In

every time they say your name
it hurts just a little
less
i guess i'm finally coming down
from the high
i called fairy-child
your blue eyes
and your white light
seem a little dimmer
with each passing night
and i guess i finally see
i won't die
without you

i'm tired of wishing
on invisible stars
and oxidized pennies
for a girl with your smile
and i guess i'm tired
of praying so hard
but being too scared
to say your name out loud
i told a priest
i think about you every day
and i said-
father, i'm scared i always will
but five hail mary's later
i guess i feel a little better
maybe tomorrow will pass
without your shadow

you are not who i remember
i guess she died across state lines
you are not who i remember
i guess she's really gone
you are not who i remember
cuz she would never lie
you are not who i remember
i just wish she'd said goodbye

every time they say your name
i forget you a little bit
more
i guess the rehab
may have been worth
the pain
and as you left my veins, dear
i clung on to the ache
but i guess i finally see
i'm better off
without you

i'm tired of fighting
to keep your memory
alive
and the songs we used to play
have all gone silent
and i begged the goddess of the night
to take you from my dreams
and darling, i guessed it worked-
i haven't seen your face in weeks

you are not who i remember
i guess she died across state lines
you are not who i remember
i guess she's really gone
you are not who i remember
cuz she would never lie
you are not who i remember
i just wish she'd said goodbye