Saturday, March 8, 2008

Another Night

another night alone.
another night pretending i don't miss him.
another night faking a smile and saying i'm okay.
another night not knowing who i am or what's real.
another night without a dawn to follow.
another night of chain-smoking, hoping the nicotine will numb the pain.
another night of silently crying myself to sleep, hoping the others don't hear.
another night wondering if it's all a bad dream.
another night i can't eat, can't sleep, can't think straight, can't see straight, can't feel anything but hurt.
another night writing letters no one will ever read, playing songs no one will ever hear.
another night of lying.
another night wondering if he misses me half as much as i miss him.
another night wondering if this is how it'll end.
another night dreaming of things that will never happen.
another night wishing on stars i can't see.
another night waking in the darkness, reaching for a hand to hold, but there's no one.
another night spent wondering if i'm crazy.
another night knowing it's probably true.
another night hoping he doesn't fall in love with someone else.
another night wishing someone would fuck me so hard i couldn't feel anymore.
another night pretending i'm normal, and hating myself because i can't be.
another night knowing no one loves me, and no one ever will.
another night wasting away because i cried so hard i made myself sick.
another night thinking of all the ways and reasons to end it, and knowing i'm not strong enough to actually do it.
another night praying to a god i can barely believe in anymore.
another night without stars.
another night without him.

No comments: