Keep Up, Kid- You Don't Wanna Miss This

jet-set sex-kitten
dressed for success
and ready to run
can you keep up?

i didn't think so

maybe i'll move to india
and be a princess
i'll be the only blond
in mumbai
who wears black-patent boots
with 8-inch heels
to bed
on a monday afternoon

i thought you might like that :-)

maybe i'll rocket off
to times square
and dance in the lights
in nothing but sequins
and let the new york rain
wash the glitter from my face
i'll let new york see me
unpainted

or maybe not

maybe i'll fill a french villa
with white grand pianos
and ivory roses
and stomp around the
fragile fragments
of a life
in war-boots
and a wedding gown
just because i can

i wish you could be there to see it

jet-set drama-queen
dressed to kill
with damn good aim
can you keep up?

i didn't think so



(webcam self-portrait)

Bad News

.baby i thought you knew... i'm up to no good.



(webcam self-portrait)

Falling Out Farther Than I Fell In

every time they say your name
it hurts just a little
less
i guess i'm finally coming down
from the high
i called fairy-child
your blue eyes
and your white light
seem a little dimmer
with each passing night
and i guess i finally see
i won't die
without you

i'm tired of wishing
on invisible stars
and oxidized pennies
for a girl with your smile
and i guess i'm tired
of praying so hard
but being too scared
to say your name out loud
i told a priest
i think about you every day
and i said-
father, i'm scared i always will
but five hail mary's later
i guess i feel a little better
maybe tomorrow will pass
without your shadow

you are not who i remember
i guess she died across state lines
you are not who i remember
i guess she's really gone
you are not who i remember
cuz she would never lie
you are not who i remember
i just wish she'd said goodbye

every time they say your name
i forget you a little bit
more
i guess the rehab
may have been worth
the pain
and as you left my veins, dear
i clung on to the ache
but i guess i finally see
i'm better off
without you

i'm tired of fighting
to keep your memory
alive
and the songs we used to play
have all gone silent
and i begged the goddess of the night
to take you from my dreams
and darling, i guessed it worked-
i haven't seen your face in weeks

you are not who i remember
i guess she died across state lines
you are not who i remember
i guess she's really gone
you are not who i remember
cuz she would never lie
you are not who i remember
i just wish she'd said goodbye

Tarot Cards Never Give Guarantees

big changes ahead...
maybe.

.BLOND.

"I don't think a woman is really a woman
unless she's a blond, y'know?"
-Gia Carangi



maybe i'll dye my hair
let the bleach soak into my brain
inhale the chemical
like you snorted yours
and maybe i'll get extensions
woven in
fake hair to suit my fake self
let the curls fall
around my
breasts
those are real
but only because i don't have the money
maybe i'll be
the prettiest girl
in the world
someday
made entirely of
synthetics
and
paint
i could be perfect too, babe
and maybe then
i could finally say
FUCK YOU

R E I N V E N T

hold on tight, kids
looks like it's about that time
time to
reinvent
change
begin again
be someone new

i suppose the question is-
where do i begin?
who do i want to be today?
who will i be happy as tomorrow?

i need a
new name
new face
new body
new life

now how do i become HER?

Hours To Wait, No Time To Lose

i think i'll lose my mind tonight
walk on the water
and wait for the sunrise
i'll shut out the cold
with sad songs
and sadder voices
i'll fall into a sweet sea
and float away
on your sound-waves
you won't miss me
till the morning
when no one
hits the snooze button
for you
and i hope that ringing
in your ears
never dies
i think i'll lose my mind tonight
run to the horizon
and fly